The sun was setting and Emily felt her mood change. The colors of the sky were an incredible mixture of Rust, Pink, and Brown. She sat on the boardwalk at the beach, waiting for the guy from Match.com, who said he'd meet her at the beach, at this spot at 4pm.
Emily was wearing a sparkly, blue top that she found at a vintage thrift store, a long, form-fitting jeanskirt and a pair of glittery flip flops, which were off her feet at the moment. She was glad she just got a pedicure. Her toenails were a light shade of Lilac.
There were swings for kids at the playground. She swung and swung, and she looked at her watch. It was five p.m. already. Another late date! They had agreed to meet specifically at four p.m.! She looked around her. Most of the beach was cleared out. She felt happy being by herself, yet, even though her family and friends were always there, she wanted a relationship, best friend in a male companion.Emily was 25. The radius she chose for a partner on the website was 30 miles away. She lived in Long Beach in a studio. The guy was from Torrance.
She was taking a risk, going on a date with someone with no picture, and his name was Ivan. She only knew one Ivan in her life and he basically was the one who got away.
Emily walked to the tidepools and looked over her right shoulder. Who did she see coming up in a confident stride? Ivan (her Ivan!). he looked great! Not gawky like the 25 year old she knew when she was 22. How did she miss it was him on Match.com? Despite seeing her pictures, he did everything to convince Emily that he was a different Ivan. She tried not to feel tricked, but she was!
She saw him walking toward her and she suddenly didn't feel like meeting him. She didn't want her past to meet up with her present. She sort of considered him a friend, but not wholly. She had no allegiance to him or his little games! He was about 500 feet away. She walked up from the beach, crossed the street and hid in the library in town. Ivan hardly cracked open a book, so she knew he wouldn't find her and he would have been able to see where she went. She moved so fast; she probably was a glittery blur to him.
She had glasses in her purse. She put them on and lost herself in the fiction section of the library. She found a rubber band in one of her pockets and swept back her dark, curly hair into a ponytail. She was reading and had even sat down on a stool in between the book stacks. She was deep in concentration when she heard a familiar voice...
"Fancy finding you here."
She looked up and it was Ivan. Damn, she thought she had escaped him successfully. He was a lot smarter than she thought, even if he hardly picked up a piece of Literature. He did read the newspaper daily, so that was somewhat impressive. Ivan stepped toward her.
"I'm sorry I tricked you, " he said. "But I'm ready to make things work. I'm sorry for being so immature before. You look beautiful."
He clasped her had in his two hands and she looked into his shining brown, wide eyes. She knew in her gut that he was telling the truth. Ivan was definitely good looking, but the most disarming trait of his was that he didn't quite see his own essence, so his humility showed through.
Emily remembered how they both had so much fun three years ago when they were together. They travelled to some interesting places: Catalina, Santa Barbara area. It was by far, a very memorable three years that they had together as a couple. She remembered feeling loved. Ivan and Emily would walk hand in hand to events, friends, parties and get togethers. It was clear to others and to each of them, that they were in love.
But one night...in the 3rd year of the relationship, they were in a friend's hot tub, looking up at the stars and it was such a romantic moment. Ivan kissed her and Emily knew it could lead to more, but she was a traditional girl at 22 and wanted to make sure there was a deep commitment between them...basically, a proposal or promise to marry before getting too physically involved. When she told Ivan this, he seemed to shrink back in fear...He was only 25, he explained. They still had so much to do, enjoy together before marrying, but Emily just wanted to know she was the one for him. They were young, she knew, but she was romantic and knew at the time that Ivan was it for her. And her parents had gotten married at around the same age that they were then.
Now, three years later, Emily wished she had been more intimate with Ivan or at least open to making love then, especially after being with a string of 3 or 4 guys who were nice enough and cute, but not what she really wanted in a partner. Although she was still young at 25, she knew that she wanted to marry...soon. She felt more and more ready....maybe she always was...but she really needed to just let go and explore intimacy a bit more. Part of her fear of becoming physical was getting closer emotionally...
So there she was with Ivan...standing in a row surrounded by books.
"Can we go somewhere where we don't have to whisper?" he asked.
Emily let out a giggle.
"Sure," she said and he gallantly reached out to her and pulled her up.
She had to admit that he looked handsome. he was about 6-2, his hair fell in curls around his forehead. His blonde/brown curls contrasted with his dark, brown, wide eyes. Today, he was wearing a Hoby surf tshirt. It looked like he had been working out. She could see his muscles and his olive toned, tan arms. He wore nice, dress pants that seemed to go pretty well with his bright, blue hoby shirt. She looked again into his eyes and saw surprise there as she stepped toward him and leaned in for a hug. They held each other for too long it seemed, like long lost lovers, finding each other again. She felt silly for feeling unnerved by them getting closer physically in the past. She knew Ivan and although he was very attracted to her, he was not going to take advantage of her...she just didn't communicate her feelings/fears enough to him, so he didn't know what to do basically. There were many subjects that they didn't broach, but there were always butterflies in her stomach when Emily saw Ivan and she knew they understood each other and had a great connection.
She wondered to hearself why she had let a good thing go...what was her issue?
They walked out into the night. It was the beginning of Fall and Emily could already feel the weather make a slight shift. Soon, the days would grow shorter and the sun wouldn't shine as beautifully after 5:30 or 6 in the evening.
Emily and Ivan walked toward the beach again. She took off her glasses and let down her hair once more. They walked to a little place right by the main highway across from beach and sat on stools at The Golden Spoon.
Suddenly, they were in the mood for yogurt. Ivan ordered his favorite: Peanut Butter/Vanilla swirl. and Emily got her usual: Strawberry with Chocolate sprinkles on top. She was pretty and fit, but she still only had sugar on rare occasions. This was one of them...
Emily and Ivan were turning their bodies around on the stools like little children. Then, their legs interlocked and they leaned into each other. Ivan with Peanut Butter and Vanilla yogurt breath gave Emily the best kiss she had experienced in a long time...9 years ago. They pulled back from each other, stared at each other newly...and Emily could swear she saw a shooting star leap out into the black expanse of the sky.
This time from this day on, there wouldn't be a stretch of three weeks..more like three days that they'd ever be apart again....and this time, she was ready for everything and knew that Ivan would be the perfect gentleman.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Tiana's Change of Heart
Tiana bent down to pull up her soccer socks. She was wearing a stylish Green, puffy hat with the brim in front. She also had on a Renaissance type of shirt, falling from her shoulders. Her short pants were low slung and she had pockets everywhere.
She didn't quite fit into the Newport Beach spoiled kids' crowd. And the spoiled ones continued to remind her and let her know it. She could have felt offended or hurt, but her heart wasn't as thin as her waist...she was athletic and on the girls' soccer team . People knew not to mess with her!
Tiana lived in Newport as well, but in a single family home. She lived with her father ( a well meaning, successful man), but not very knowledgeable about 18 year old girls.
Tiana didn't know how she made it through three plus years at Newport Harbor High School. People were incredibly snobby and sometimes she felt like their insincerity had rubbed off on her. She felt bad when her father asked her about her day and she just rolled her eyes and looked out the window at the sunset.
They lived in a two bedroom-about a block from the beach. The place had an ocean view! It wasn't a house like some of her friends had. It wasn't bad though even though her dad rented. She could sit on the porch (they were upstairs) and look out at the blue, sometimes gray ocean.
Today, Tiana was home early from school. She didn't have a sixth period this semester. It was March and and she only had three more months until graduation. She couldn't wait...not that she had any solid idea about what she wanted to do after graduating...
She was sitting on the beautifully wooden planked porch after school a few days later. She was not dressed as alternative as she usually dressed. She was wearing a sea green tank top, a jean miniskirt and her dark, brown hair was colored with light brown highlights. She pulled her hair back in a bun. She had a natural look going and wasn't wearing much make-up. She had the looped earring in her brow, but besides that, she was piercing free. She had her visible tatoo in full view-the small, glittery dolphin on her right back shoulder.
She decided to stand up and go to the edge of the porch and look over the ledge into the sun-slowly setting into the water. in no time at all, the sun would be a little sliver and she would move back inside and start making dinner for her father and herself. Her mother left them when she was only 4 years old. Some of the hurt from being left toughened Tiana, but she was also extremely sensitive and saddened in her heart by never finding her mother and feeling the pain of loss-even after all these years.
She started really missing her mother from tenth grade onward-only a few years ago, when a mother's touch could have helped her in the fashion and boy department.
Tiana stool looking at the sunset. As she looked, she saw a sole figure; it looked like a surfer. it was a beautiful silhouette against the backdrop of the ocean. The figure started walking toward her...closer and closer.
She was staring off and then suddenly he was two feet from her face. He was a looker for sure but his eyes were what mesmerized her. his eyes looked like wheels turning, kaleidoscopes Suddenly, Tiana was in a tall, tall building. She awoke and saw that she was on some kind of massage type table. in a chair beside the table was the guy, the looker.
"What am I doing here?' asked Tiana aggressively. she bolted upright and raced to the door. The man blocked her without saying a word. it seemed as though he couldn't talk. He had this pleasant expression on his face, a plastered smile. Tiana remembered her karate. She was a black belt for Godssake! She kicked him and knewhe really was a man, not some mannequin robot, because when she kicked him in the crotch, she could see that it hurt!
He screamed out, "Arrgh! What is your problem?"
"Oh, so you talk? Why did you bring me here and did I faint? Let me go..." She said.
She ran out the door, escaping him and she could hear the tender voice now:
"I brought you here for your best interest. Don't go, there's danger!"
Tiana didn't heed his warning. She screamed and was outside finally. The building was called, "Second Chances." Second chance or not, she had to get back to her father! She noticed though that she wasn't in Newport. It was another place entirely...the sky was a deep shade of purple and the clouds were a sparkling blue. She felt transfixed, haunted by the beauty around her.
She started walking, but she walked about 300 feet and she hit a plastic wall. She was puzzled. How could this be? Where am I? She looked upward into the purple sky and when she looked really hard, she could see a plastic ceiling that covered the sky. it looked like it was very far away, but it was actually closer than she thought..even the stars. The strangeness was that she didn't feel trapped by her plastic surroundings (even though she realized she was inside a giant replica of a snow globe basically). Despite the awkwardness of this scenario, she felt...for the first time in a long time, like she really could breathe!
Inexplicably, she walked back into the building. The receptionist mentioned floor 3. She took the elevator up..right back to where she was...as if in a dream, the man, who was probably a robot, glanced at her like he expected her to come back. His eyes were dancing. They were now a deep violet.
She sat down right in front of him.
"You have come here for a reason, Tiana."
She liked the way his tongue rolled out her name. She didn't feel self conscious suddenly. It was like the sun was radiating all the way through her. He looked at her..not with attraction or lust. He was about twenty and normally that feeling would be there, but he looked at her with an understanding that only she, God, and the Earth had of her. And breathing deeply, she discovered in front of her was the Earth and God and despite that fact, she knew she had to get back to her dad and school, that was her home.
The man smiled and in her heart, she felt forgiven, loved, inspired and passionate about her life ahead...
the bubble lifted and the man said with the kindest smile, "Run through!"
...And she did. When she was at her human home again, she never again felt ungrateful, but instead, she embraced all of it!
She didn't quite fit into the Newport Beach spoiled kids' crowd. And the spoiled ones continued to remind her and let her know it. She could have felt offended or hurt, but her heart wasn't as thin as her waist...she was athletic and on the girls' soccer team . People knew not to mess with her!
Tiana lived in Newport as well, but in a single family home. She lived with her father ( a well meaning, successful man), but not very knowledgeable about 18 year old girls.
Tiana didn't know how she made it through three plus years at Newport Harbor High School. People were incredibly snobby and sometimes she felt like their insincerity had rubbed off on her. She felt bad when her father asked her about her day and she just rolled her eyes and looked out the window at the sunset.
They lived in a two bedroom-about a block from the beach. The place had an ocean view! It wasn't a house like some of her friends had. It wasn't bad though even though her dad rented. She could sit on the porch (they were upstairs) and look out at the blue, sometimes gray ocean.
Today, Tiana was home early from school. She didn't have a sixth period this semester. It was March and and she only had three more months until graduation. She couldn't wait...not that she had any solid idea about what she wanted to do after graduating...
She was sitting on the beautifully wooden planked porch after school a few days later. She was not dressed as alternative as she usually dressed. She was wearing a sea green tank top, a jean miniskirt and her dark, brown hair was colored with light brown highlights. She pulled her hair back in a bun. She had a natural look going and wasn't wearing much make-up. She had the looped earring in her brow, but besides that, she was piercing free. She had her visible tatoo in full view-the small, glittery dolphin on her right back shoulder.
She decided to stand up and go to the edge of the porch and look over the ledge into the sun-slowly setting into the water. in no time at all, the sun would be a little sliver and she would move back inside and start making dinner for her father and herself. Her mother left them when she was only 4 years old. Some of the hurt from being left toughened Tiana, but she was also extremely sensitive and saddened in her heart by never finding her mother and feeling the pain of loss-even after all these years.
She started really missing her mother from tenth grade onward-only a few years ago, when a mother's touch could have helped her in the fashion and boy department.
Tiana stool looking at the sunset. As she looked, she saw a sole figure; it looked like a surfer. it was a beautiful silhouette against the backdrop of the ocean. The figure started walking toward her...closer and closer.
She was staring off and then suddenly he was two feet from her face. He was a looker for sure but his eyes were what mesmerized her. his eyes looked like wheels turning, kaleidoscopes Suddenly, Tiana was in a tall, tall building. She awoke and saw that she was on some kind of massage type table. in a chair beside the table was the guy, the looker.
"What am I doing here?' asked Tiana aggressively. she bolted upright and raced to the door. The man blocked her without saying a word. it seemed as though he couldn't talk. He had this pleasant expression on his face, a plastered smile. Tiana remembered her karate. She was a black belt for Godssake! She kicked him and knewhe really was a man, not some mannequin robot, because when she kicked him in the crotch, she could see that it hurt!
He screamed out, "Arrgh! What is your problem?"
"Oh, so you talk? Why did you bring me here and did I faint? Let me go..." She said.
She ran out the door, escaping him and she could hear the tender voice now:
"I brought you here for your best interest. Don't go, there's danger!"
Tiana didn't heed his warning. She screamed and was outside finally. The building was called, "Second Chances." Second chance or not, she had to get back to her father! She noticed though that she wasn't in Newport. It was another place entirely...the sky was a deep shade of purple and the clouds were a sparkling blue. She felt transfixed, haunted by the beauty around her.
She started walking, but she walked about 300 feet and she hit a plastic wall. She was puzzled. How could this be? Where am I? She looked upward into the purple sky and when she looked really hard, she could see a plastic ceiling that covered the sky. it looked like it was very far away, but it was actually closer than she thought..even the stars. The strangeness was that she didn't feel trapped by her plastic surroundings (even though she realized she was inside a giant replica of a snow globe basically). Despite the awkwardness of this scenario, she felt...for the first time in a long time, like she really could breathe!
Inexplicably, she walked back into the building. The receptionist mentioned floor 3. She took the elevator up..right back to where she was...as if in a dream, the man, who was probably a robot, glanced at her like he expected her to come back. His eyes were dancing. They were now a deep violet.
She sat down right in front of him.
"You have come here for a reason, Tiana."
She liked the way his tongue rolled out her name. She didn't feel self conscious suddenly. It was like the sun was radiating all the way through her. He looked at her..not with attraction or lust. He was about twenty and normally that feeling would be there, but he looked at her with an understanding that only she, God, and the Earth had of her. And breathing deeply, she discovered in front of her was the Earth and God and despite that fact, she knew she had to get back to her dad and school, that was her home.
The man smiled and in her heart, she felt forgiven, loved, inspired and passionate about her life ahead...
the bubble lifted and the man said with the kindest smile, "Run through!"
...And she did. When she was at her human home again, she never again felt ungrateful, but instead, she embraced all of it!
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